Academia, Mormons, and the Ivory Tower

So I just returned from an oh-so-lovely jaunt with my fellow academics. Graduate school has a way of clearing up one's view of world, much in the same way a 2x4 clears up the thinking of a donkey. And that's no compliment...

Tonight, I think I saw the academic community for what it is: a cloistered, slightly delusional, crew of self-congratulating elitists. Harsh words for some of my own people? Perhaps, but it is only because I feel that academics have betrayed academia--and traitors have no illustrious legacy in my world.

Tonight, I listened as a professor decried the evils of the religious right all the while seriouslyclaiming that he could not fill out an NCAA bracket; his wife was a psychic and had not informed him of the eventual outcome. I watched as professors chatted with professors about theorists, obscure books, and arcane theories, most of which your work-a-day hoi polloi would dismiss as, at best, irrelevant, and at worst, a near-criminal use of their tax dollars. Bush-bashing is considered a given, almost a religious rite necessary for purification from the sins of common society.

Yet I cannot distance myself from the academic process, a process that has done so much for me. Rather, I am disappointed that the process I found so noble in adolescence is so crudely political. While this comes as no surprise to most, I really believed that academics, so intent on the pursuit of truth, would have at least some freedom from the taint of schoolyard alliances.

These feelings run hot, paradoxically, because I might not be as passionate as I could be about the issues and get upset at anyone who is; perhaps I am not really a democrat (note the small "d"). Why? I trace it to my Latter Day Saint faith--a seemingly odd source until we consider the real political dynamic. Aside from a couple social issues, the politics and culture of the Latter Day Saints really makes for the American wild card. Our cultural roots produces enough ambiguity that we might, if we chose, march to our own political drum. Harold Bloom has accused us of blending too neatly into the American right; perhaps on the grassroots level he is right. Once Latter Day Saints recognize this, Utah--indeed, the whole of the intermountain West might be in play again. Democrats would be more than happy to overlook our stances on abortion and same-sex marriage--such things happen all the time (see Joe Lieberman's endorsement of McCain).

We do not recognize our own potential. Maybe I'll write a book someday about Mormons, the Wild Card in America, about how we have sold our political birthright for a mess of political porridge (namely Republican support for our same-sex marriage and pro-life stances). We do not need the Republican party or any party for these views to be legitimized. We can support constitutional amendments on same-sex marriage; you know that the instant we begin making overtures to the Democrats on other issues, they would be more than happy to take over a key Republican stronghold for the small price of softening their rhetoric on abortion and not demonizing for supporting a marriage amendment.

Latter Day Saints...recognize your power. As a Latter Day Saint first, a conservative second, and an academic third, I hope that Utah Latter Day Saints can show the political world that they're not easily manipulable...unlike the constituencies of the Huckster.

The Hero With A Thousand Faces

You all know it...you just don't know that you know it. So Joseph Campbell writes this book called (guess what?) The Hero With a Thousand Faces. He argues that all hero myths derive from a single typology, a single archetype.

So now we get into the fun stuff...Campbell argues that "the hero" leaves his home of comfort, goes in search of a token or prize, and in doing so, begins to question his relationship to reality. Ultimately, s/he realizes a previously unrecognized potential , comes to terms with him/herself, and ultimately saves the society from whence he came.

Here's the scoop...look at the specifics of Campbell's "hero cycle" (see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hero_with_a_Thousand_Faces). Any comparisons to made with how we ourselves as heroes in mortality in light of the plan of salvation? Similarities? Differences? Most importantly, what can we learn from Campbell? Search ye therefore out of the best books, no? (and to my uberly-orthodox friends, yes, there are more "best books" than the standard works...at least Joseph Smith thought so).

I Am Legend

A profound movie...even if much of it is traditional save-mankind-from-the-aliens hackney. But there is meaning here, my friends...you might even use it as a (gasp) gospel object lesson...

But before I share my two bits...I'll give an e-drink to the man/woman who comes up with the best gospel application...GO!

Nutritional Brochures at Fast Food Joints=Absurd

So I was going to Taco Bell in hopes of scarfing down on my calorie-laced Baja Beef Chalupa. Suddenly, I was slapped upside the head with the realization that an obscenity was staring me right in the face. No...'twasn't any four letter word...it was a nutritional sign.

A question for my loyal viewers: does anyone with a brain not drenched in Mickey D's grease actually go to fast food joints wondering about their calorie intake? One might as well ask an embezzler for advice on how to do the taxes or a Republican on how to actually give a ---- about the hungry...

So let's face it...Taco Bell thinks we're idiots...gimme my Baja...

A Little Anxious? You Betcha...

So G.K. Chesterton, the artist par excellence of probing whimsy, argued that "man must have just enough faith in himself to have adventures, and just enough doubt of himself to enjoy them." So this next chapter in my life should be full of life, liberty, and rollicking good fun. Right?

Yet I find myself facing what appears to be an utter and complete tabula rasa of human experience. Of course, having grown up in the goodly Western country of Wyoming, the schoolboy in me was taught to see such a milieu as an adventure to be grasped, an opportunity to conquer. And then there's the tired old trope about how the word "crisis" in Chinese is a combination of "danger" and "opportunity" (incidentally, that's a load of malarkey: see here for explanation--http://www.pinyin.info/chinese/crisis.html). Yet the Eeyore in me sees something very different. He sees contingency, chance aka the chance for things to horrifically wrong. Eeyore is not a pessimist necessarily; he is content with the mediocre: "Thanks for noticin' me." Eeyore is all too comfortable with the ordinary, the mean. All too comfortable slipping into the masses unnoticed.

Confused yet? So am I. Basically, I'm 26 years old and I'm not wholly convinced on where I want to go from here. Things with Emily have not exactly worked out as planned, and plus, the University of Kentucky is pushing me to go to Wisconsin to learn Vietnamese. I'm not fully convinced I even want to be a history professor; then again, I'm not convinced about much else either. History professors are terribly aloof from reality; when profs. tell you that they're insane about their subject, believe them. I love the stuff, but do I want it to feed my family as a profession?.

So far, the feelings I've been getting have not exactly been comforting about the future...but the thoughts of changing course are too terrible to entertain. It would mean forfeiting much of my goodwill with the University of Kentucky and leaving me rudderless as far as a professional path. Academia remains the most solid choice, even if it leaves a bittersweet aftertaste in my mouth.

McCain's Overture to Huckabee's Crowd

Oh so pleasant...sounds like a fellow I would like to eat pizza with

An Old Reliable

So yeah...I had a riveting conversation about Mormon orthodoxy's (I use the term orthodoxy in the popular sense; see this post for my thoughts on what orthodoxy really means) old reliable chestnut--evolution...let the fire and brimstone come down.

OK...so I know all the good ole' mantras about how science and Mormonism is intertwined, about how God wants us to learn about the world around us, about how we should seek for truth in all places, about divine evolution, and about how the Church has taken no stance on evolution etc. etc. You go to BYU for a few years and you hear about this ad infinitum...I get it.

Now I have nothing fundamentally against evolution...but for you scientist-theologians out there, I have some questions.

Question 1):

As I understand it, evolutionary biology DOES NOT maintain we descended from primates, but that we share a common ancestor. Fair enough. At what point, then, did man's spirit enter the body? Were these spirits those of God's offspring or of some other species? At what point did these spirits become human spirits? Were there even individual spirits in these beings or were they animated by the general spirit of life (which might explain Adam being "asleep")

Question 2):

In light of evolution, what does it mean to be a child of God?

Again, those who know me know that I am no doctrinaire old timer when it comes to matters of theology. And I know that you biology buffs tend to have conniptions when Latter Day Saints ask such questions. Just humor me for a second and ignore the temptation to believe that a Latter Day Saint who questions evolution is just knuckle-dragging evidence that evolution is still in process...

Frightening

Now those of you who know me well also know that I am a political connoisseur...and as such, have almost no political loyalty. Party, schmarty...we all know they're a bunch of bums away who can only be stomached for a few years anyway. I supported Romney b/c he was the least distasteful, and I'm supporting McCain provided that McCain's staff give me a blindfold on election so I don't have to see myself vote. So on that note...

It takes a great deal to get my emotions rolling on things political. If a person can truly frighten me w/a political story, then that is saying something. And wouldn't you know it, but Mr. Nice Guy, Barack Obama, has done it.

Pastor Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama's pastor of nearly 20 years, is no ordinary bible-thumper. The following clips give us a glimpse into his Sunday service. Scary stuff. Now just b/c a fellow has a cup of joe with a radical obviously does not make him any less of a leader. I mean, really, I'm sure we've all heard a little false doctrine over the pulpit in our days, and I'm sure we all hope it's not held against us when we all run for president, senate, dog-catcher, or (cough) spouse (cough). However, we are not talking about casual acquaintance...Obama titled his book "The Audacity of Hope" based on one of Wright's sermons. Wright married Obama to Michelle and baptized his children. Wright was Obama's "spritual mentor."

Obama claims that he has never heard Wright say anything controversial over the past 20 years. Even with that, however, we must question Obama's judgment of people. If he can be so close to someone without recognizing their radical roots, how can we trust him to choose the proper individuals for public office? Watch Wright's sermon and decide for yourself...

Reverend Jeremiah Wright blames the U.S. for 9/11

LDS dating...and why everyone hates it

So I just spent the last week in the bountiful, the land of plenty, even called God's country in some quarters...Provo, Utah. In God's country, the wind does not beat you down; it simply massages the soul. I love Provo...and I miss it deeply. Goodness is in the air you breathe. But God's country has a vulnerable underbelly--dating...

Have you noticed, my fellow LDSers, that dating is almost never the subject of a testimony on fast Sunday? "I know that dating is a true principle...and if we abide by it, we shall find happiness in this life..." Unfortunately, we would laugh whoever said this to scorn faster than you can say DTR. The great irony? While dating is glossed over as a custom, marriage emphasized and re-emphasized as the key stone of eternity, world without end. Dating is laughable; marriage is a key to the eternities. Out here in Kentucky, any dating talk is accompanied by at least three groans and two snickers.

Why do we laugh about--and don't testify of--dating? Because laughing is easier than crying. The reason we don't testify of dating is simple: it is the hardest doctrine there is. Seer stones, Adam-God, blood atonement...all sugary glaze when compared to this reality: "you may never find a suitable spouse in this life." Thank heavens that a testimony of dating is not required for full fellowship; if it were, our religion would become a holding vessel for the dating elites en route to a life of marital bliss--and we all know who they are (bless their hearts). You know, those with the arresting smile ("good teeth," as some of our dear sisters describe it), the lively spirit, the future attorneys, and would-be Mitt Romneys. Meanwhile, the rest of the dating proletariat would toil away...oh sorry, I forgot...this is a no-Marxism zone. But seriously folks, we can thank our lucky stars that the Lord has not asked for dating to be on the temple recommend question list..."Do you have faith in and a testimony of dating as a means to attain exaltation?" The ramifications would be profound: the Provo temple would shut down. Arranged marriage would become remarkably en vogue, if only to help the poor sons/daughters of the faith to escape from their sinful, non-dating ways.

It's true...we're not for want of counsel concerning dating. Hardly a CES fireside goes by without it. But their expectations are remarkably different from other commandments...tithing, chastity, even faith and repentance--all of these are painted in eternal and unchanging terms. And dating? Only weeks ago, Elder Earl C. Tingey even intimated that losing weight and changing a hairdo would be necessary to date. Such counsel hardly resembles the eloquent rhapsodies one can read in Mosiah 26 or 2 Nephi 9 about the greatness of God or the laws of mercy and justice.

So to those of you in relationships...I salute you. And in your honor, I am going to go read a book about imperialism and feminism in the British empire. Any segue? Nah...segues are for wimps.