Thursday, March 27, 2008

Confidence: The Delusion of Champions

Proceeding onward and upward...

Before doing so though, a word about "discourses." We need to recognize that there is not a Mormon rhetoric--there are Mormon rhetorics. They swirl around us through a sacrament meeting w/o our knowing it. There is a discourse of obedience ("Follow the Brethren"), a discourse of sacrifice ("Come Come Ye Saints"--this fits under other rubrics too, but I would argue sacrifice is the overarching theme when we discuss this hymn), a discourse of dating, of individualism ("Read it for yourself"), a discourse of Atonement and so forth. And not all of these discourses fully blend with each other well, nor do they fully represent the gospel...we must cut through the discourses to see what kind of subterranean gospel currents are at work. We must not get bogged down in the lapping waves on the surface--though such movements are essential for negotiating our way through the Church in real-time. So why doesn't the Lord just give it to us plain? 1) We're humans; we are incapable of such daring-do and 2) it would miss the point entirely. It would be like giving food to a lion as we're trying to train it in hunting...let's begin.

Obsessing over agency w/o its mother reality of Christ's atonement might well be seen as the highest form of adolescent rebellion. From the scriptures, we learn that agency is in actuality a product of the Atonement: "And because they are redeemed from the fall, they are free forever" (2 Nephi 2:26). Yet, I fear, in our efforts to distinguish ourselves from our evangelical brothers/sisters, we emphasize free agency and its enforcement at the expense of agency's source. All too often, self-esteem is blended and sometimes, wrongfully (though often rightfully) w/this emphasis on free agency: "Good choices lead to good self-esteem."

But certainly we are to have self-esteem; as Elder Packer once pronounced: when he hears us struggle with problems aimlessly, he wants to thunder that we're children of God and have the powers of divinity within us. Additionally, for a God who is willing to weep over the wickedness of his children, it is hard for me to see a God nodding with approval as his child is sitting in the corner telling themselves repeatedly that are simply not making the cut. The NT provides us some creative tension on this point (the OT is similarly ambiguous on self-esteem; the Hebrew word for pride is remarkably ambiguous, as it is used to describe God's greatness as well...we'll discuss the NT just b/c it's more easily palatable for those who aren't ready to grapple with the commands to destroy the inhabitants of Canaan). Interestingly, the Greek word for "pride" in the NT essentially means "to shine more than"--again, remarkably ambiguous. Additionally, we are told "let our light so shine." It's obvious that we all have varied talents, and these talents will, of necessity, stand out above the rest.

And yet, and yet, the discourse of personal righteousness MUST be contextualized within the Atonement. Many of us do not seem adequately equipped for such a contextualization, certainly not with our discourse tools readily available. Part of that is obviously due to the transcendence of the event..."no tongue can describe." Yet I also think that this intimidating reality has the unintended side effect of scaring us into not even approaching the reality of the Atonement head on...its implications for everything we do. It's much easier to tell somebody to pay 10%, to give food to the missionaries, even to be chaste, then to teach them how to get know a man whom we call resurrected. And with that, we can easily call him righteous. There are good reasons why the first question of the temple recommend interview has nothing to do with individual activities and everything to do with Christ. This pseudo-gospel of checklist Mormonism is really just Calvinism warmed-over--a stable social order of shared values and goals as everyone anxiously hopes that their good works is a sign that that they're saved. It makes for a good social order, but whither the belief in Christ? As good ole' Chet noted: Calvinism (and its illegitimate descendant, Latter-Day Calvinism), was a "highly credible mistake."

Yet Mormonism is audacious enough to claim that it can be done. Self-esteem means, to us, that we find the vital center of time and all eternity--the garden of Gethsemane. Once the center of eternity is found, the center of our lives will be found as well. Without the center in place, Chet's quip becomes disturbingly correct: Shall I tell you where the men are who believe most in themselves? For I can tell you. I know of men who believe in themselves more colossally than Napoleon or Caesar. I know where flames the fixed star of certainty and success. I can guide you to the thrones of the Supermen. The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums…" (even if they're in asylums that bring home six-figures).

3 comments:

Mark said...

I'm glad you wrote this, and I'm glad I read it. Confidence and self-esteem is something I've thought a lot about in the context of the gospel, and you're quite insightful.

Syphax said...

Russ, this blog reminds me of an interesting article I read (and did a report on in abnormal psychology). After Mother Theresa died, her personal diaries were released, and the world was stunned at her remarks. Her life was filled with self-doubt, depression, and she had problems even believing that God exists at all. This was not during small times in her life, but for years and years. Some psychologists (and me in my psych undergrad paper) theorize that the depression came from some sort of negative feedback loop. She would succeed in a venture, then she would good about herself, then she would feel immense guilt at self-perceived "pride," then she would psychologically cut herself down, the result being a crippling sort of depression. It's a very interesting article and I think it adds an element to what you're saying in this blog.

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415,00.html

Anyway, check it out when you have the time.

Janae Wallace said...

The link doesn't work :(